sex problems | save your relationship | relationship coach | personal coaching

Having Sex Problems at Home?
Here's How to Save Your Relationship

Sex Problems | Save Your Relationship | Get Help from a Relationship CoachNearly every couple has sex problems at one time or another, but that doesn't mean your relationship is doomed - the good news is that there are many ways to resolve sex problems and save your relationship. But before you attempt to fix the problem, let's first identify what causes sex problems overall, so we can suggest some practical solutions.

Common Causes of Sex Problems

1. Lack of compatible libido. Just because you love your partner, doesn't mean you're sexually compatible too. Men and women reach their sexual peaks at different points in their lives, and even when it seems that you are both on the same page in the bedroom, there is still the possibility that one person will have a higher sex drive than the other. Feeling pressured into sex - or feeling sexually neglected - are often common reasons for sex problems in a relationship.

2. Busy schedules. While a busy schedule may cause sex problems for any couple, this is the most common cause of sex problems among married couples or couples living with children. Between full-time jobs, daily errands, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and taking little ones to soccer and ballet practice, sex is the last thing on a busy mind!

3. Physical or emotional ailments. Clearly linked to sex problems, one's physical and emotional ailments may contribute in a variety of ways. Everyone knows the common cold or stomach flu can limit your sexual appetite, but so can a lack of regular exercise. A person who is too out of shape to climb a flight of stairs will have trouble "rocking the world" of his or her significant other. In addition to the common cold or a bad case of beer belly, a low dose of testosterone in men - or a fluctuation of hormones in women - may also be responsible for a poor libido. And then there's the mental aspect too. Depression, bipolar illness, post-traumatic stress disorder - or even a general unhappiness with one's appearance - can all put a damper on feeling sexy.

Now that we've pointed out some of the reasons for sex problems, let's talk about how to fix them - and just how to save your relationship.

Sex Problems - How to Save Your Relationship

The biggest key to conquering sex problems is communicating with an open mind. While it was funny to hear on Sex and the City that "it's always better to spray it than say it," in the real world, if you want to save your relationship, one approach is to open up and talk about it!  While talking dirty is never discouraged, an open mind to any dialogue is very helpful. Remember to let your partner know that you are not blaming them for your sex problems, nor are you looking for an easy way out. Assure them that you are merely attempting to find a possible solution that just may save your relationship.

Overcoming Sex Problems
by Opening Your Mind

The next step in overcoming sex problems will be found in the fine art of compromise. Whether it's opening yourself up to one of your partner's fantasies, or using those sex toys you bought on Valentine's Day, if you aren't ready to try something different, you may never save your relationship.

Overcoming Sex Problems -
Make Each Other a Priority

Another helpful rule to follow is to make each other a priority. You probably have a whole list of "to-do's" ranging from a Monday morning meeting to grocery shopping on Saturday afternoon, but where on your "to-do" list is "to-do" each other? If you're running ragged between work, children and errands, just blocking out an hour on a Friday night (when you can forget about the outside world and as Marvin Gaye would say "Get it on") can make a world of difference in improving your relationship.

Overcoming Sex Problems -
Have Fun Together!

Finally, if you truly want to save your relationship, why not just relax and have fun together!  Don't focus on your sex problems, but instead think back to when you two first met and you couldn't get through dinner without ravishing each other on the kitchen counter!  Start making your date nights a regular event, invest in some sexy lingerie, or visit one of those naughty video stores together. Allow the sexual anticipation to build. Sometimes even a simple naughty text in the middle of the day can be enough to rekindle romance and make sex desirable.

Remember, sex is fun, and loving the person you're having the sex with only makes it better. Sex problems at home can often be resolved with an open heart and even more with an open mind. Adhering to these suggestions may not only save your relationship, but they can lead to a sex life others envy!


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