coaching | life coach | life coach philosophy | standards of presence

My Coaching Philosophy

The Standards of Presence

How I Create a Safe, Sacred Space For Coaching and Life

Relationship Issues | Personal Coach | Relationship Help | Personal Coaching | Professional Life CoachThese are the coaching guidelines I follow with my clients...

1. Confidentiality in Coaching
What I see and hear that is personal or specific to another within the group will stay here.

When sharing the essence of someone else's story, without the names and specific details, I agree to share it in an honoring manner that celebrates the original person's magnificence.

2. Adopt a stand for innocence
Have a beginner's mind.

Release evaluating or comparing what I am learning. Allow my self to try on and wear the information for a while, as it stands.
3. Positive focus
Focus on the 98% (or more) that is working. What I focus on expands.

Fill my tank with the power of positivity.

What you perceive in others you are strengthening in yourself.

What I perceive in others I strengthen in myself.
4. Connect at a heart level
Open my heart to the essence of what is being conveyed.

Be willing to get out of my mind!

Release the need to evaluate and judge, at least for now, in the moment.

5. When I am sharing
Focus on the part(s) that are magnificent - particularly in myself and particularly when I'm learning or exploring new areas.

Speak in I statements - release telling others what you should do, act, feel, believe, etc., etc., I am encouraged to share my experience and claim it as my experience.

6. When I am listening to another share

Be 100% engaged and focus my positive attention on the presenter or the person sharing.

Refrain from side talk, cross talk, or interrupting when someone is sharing.

Refrain from making repetitive comments or drawing attention to myself.

Re-spect - Look again with new eyes.

Release anticipating or knowing what that person is going to share. It's an opportunity to be fascinated by another.

Look for the gifts being shared - their vulnerability, insights, brilliance, etc.

Refrain from formulating what I want to say or add to what is being shared.

Allow the person sharing to indicate they are complete.

7. When giving acknowledgment or positive support

Be authentic while giving only positive feedback.

Keep it simple and speak to the essence of what I experienced.

Maintain eye contact with the person to whom I am giving support.

Allow this session to stand on its own.

Release comparing this session to past sessions.

Notice when I want to give unsolicited advice, criticism, counseling or consulting. Then release it without sharing it!

8. When receiving acknowledgment or positive support

Be open to receive the acknowledgment - as the gift it is - and let it sink in.

Maintain eye contact with the person acknowledging me.

Simply respond with Thank you. Refrain from cross talk or comments back to the person acknowledging me.

9. Take responsibility for myself and allow others to do the same

Maintain a safe space for myself. If something feels like a judgment or advice, simply state that and ask that it be reframed as a self-discovery inquiry. (That is, ask them to ask me a question.)

Also, when I have a judgment, I can say "Thank you for sharing" to that voice within me and choose a new thought and focus.

Empower others by allowing others to take care of them selves.


The bottom line and very foundation of these Standards of Presence is acceptance. In other words, be without judgment with regards of how you or anyone else behaves, especially in relationship to these Standards.

If you were to start evaluating or comparing your behavior to these Standards you would only be setting a new set of shoulds for your life.

Acceptance, especially self acceptance, is the most beneficial place to stand to experience this sacred space.

The Standards of Presence courtesy of Coach For Life © 2013

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Website Content © 2016 Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
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"Thank you so much for the awesome coaching session! I got so much clarity and focus about where I want to go and how to get there. I just got off the phone with my girlfriend and told her about it, and she commented immediately on the excitement in my voice! Truly amazing!"


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"Jay, Thanks for really being there for me ... I really FEEL you in my corner and I am looking forward to moving into magnificent success!!"


"Jay! WOW! You really are the best! How did I get so lucky to connect with you?!"


"Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. You have such a positive, powerful energy. I am very happy to have had the opportunity to meet you. Mutual support is a rare occurrence. Thank you for that."


"Am eager to report in Wednesday... the impact of that one session has been like I smashed into a house full of dynamite -- WOW. I'm definitely up against the issues that need to be addressed... tough stuff... and brilliant work on your part, JR. Warmest regards and gratitude"


"Hi Jay! I'm still digesting -- and SO much appreciate your phenomenal multi-dimensional support. I laughed so hard today which helped more than anything. What a RANGE you have, my dear."


"Thank you for your loving support Jay... I truly appreciate you..."


"My dear Heaven-Sent Jay, Yet another WONDERFUL session. Again, I feel indescribably blessed. I LOVE the way you synopsize the essence of our meetings -- it's really, really helpful."


"Thank you infinitely for the phenomenal person you are, for your spiritual diligence, and for the unparalleled support you give me."


"I am overflowing with gratitude for your presence/presents in my life. The session with you last night was transformational. Every time we have a conversation, I emerge with even MORE awe and respect for you, for who you are, for what you have already contributed..."


"Great Session!!! Thanks"


"I hope I will get to know you in some way since I have heard such amazing things about you."


"Thank you... and I really do love how you show up in this world. Thank you for standing your ground for the best of the best experience... for all possibility and choosing the utmost. I'm so grateful for your presence in my experience... you let me know that everything is possible."


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"Great call Jay, I am so impressed at the lightness and trust in this session. You really seemed comfortable with everything that came up and created a deep level of support. You are a powerful coach and ask deep questions. I also appreciate the creative way you express yourself so clearly. Great session."


"Great work today Jay. I am touched by your masterful confidence. Awesome!"


"Thanks Jay! You are so wonderful!!!"