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Learn How to Win Back Your Ex

Marital Counseling | Win Back Your ExIf your relationship is on the rocks and you're facing a possible separation or divorce, there may be hope for reconciliation. Oftentimes, marriages can be saved with some behavior changes, or through the reevaluation of your relationship, and some marital counseling. Marital counseling can help you learn how to win back your ex before it's too late. Read on for some important do's and don'ts.

How to Win Back Your Ex DON'TS

A relationship ending, especially a marriage, is a traumatic time. Oftentimes people act out of desperation to try and save their marriage. The more effective strategy is to get marital counseling and in the meantime, do not participate in the following desperate behaviors:

1. Make Ultimatums or Threats - Making threats like you are going to take the children or giving your ex deadlines for making a decision about the relationship will drive him or her away.

2. Force Intimacy - It is tempting to try to get your ex back into bed before he or she is ready because to many people, this symbolizes that the relationship is back on track. But forcing intimacy before you are both ready could sabotage the situation and actually make it worse.

3. Make Shallow Promises - Caught up in desperation, it is tempting to make promises that you can't keep. If you don't make good on these promises, it might damage the relationship further.

4. Drag Others Into Your Problems - Avoid making your problem your ex's family and friends' problem too. Get marital counseling instead of making others "play" therapist.

5. Criticize or Blame - Sometimes one person shares more responsibility than the other for a divorce, but usually both parties come into play in some way. Now is not the time to blame your ex for the demise of your marriage. Instead, focus on getting marital counseling so you can get through the past and work on the future.

6. Beg - Desperate pleas or stalking behavior is a turn off and will only drive your ex further away.

How to Win Back Your Ex DO'S

A relationship teetering on the brink of separation or divorce is a delicate matter. While certain behaviors and actions are not effective in reconciling, others can actually be quite helpful. If you are wondering how to win back your ex, try the following:

1. Get Marital Counseling - The first, and most essential step to take when facing a divorce is to get marital counseling from a relationship coach. A relationship coach can help you sort through the problems that led you to this point.

2. Be Honest with Yourself - No one likes to examine their faults, but it is important to examine your part in the relationship and how your actions or behaviors may have contributed to the problem. Marital counseling can help you recognize those factors and deal with them honestly.

3. Enrich Your Life - Just because you are facing a divorce, does not mean you should put your life on hold. Continue to see friends, and participate in activities you enjoy. This will help keep your self-esteem up, ward off depression, and in turn make you more attractive to your ex.

4. Date (each other) and Flirt - If you are already living apart (or even if you are still under the same roof), try bringing back the romance by going out on dates with each other. This can help remind you of the fun and excitement you experienced at the beginning of your courtship.

5. Give Them Space - Your ex needs time for him or herself, as do you. Avoid smothering or constantly talking about the problem.

6. Focus on the Positive - Remind yourself and your ex what is right in your relationship. Don't constantly focus on the negative.

The Importance of Marital Counseling
to Win Back Your Ex

Marital counseling should be your top priority and it is critical in salvaging your relationship. Even if your ex is against counseling, you should still seek help on your own. A relationship coach can help you figure out how to deal with the situation and open up the lines of communication and healing with your ex.


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