falling in love | relationship advice | personal coach | relationship issues
 

Relationship Advice for Today's Singles:
Are You Too Busy with Your Career
to be Falling in Love?

personal coach | relationship issues | relationship advice | falling in loveIn a world of Blackberries, global networking, and telecommuting, many singles find that their busy schedules are their biggest barriers to falling in love. At the end of a long day, most singles want nothing more than to order takeout and curl up in their PJ's - not to log online and search for a potential mate. Many a personal coach or counselor, while dispensing relationship advice to clients, has heard them complain "I'm just too busy to date!" Busy schedules create numerous relationship issues, as any person who has watched a date fiddle with his Blackberry during dinner will confirm. Many professional singles fear that falling in love could lead to falling behind in their careers, which everyone is afraid to do in our present economy. Finally, many singles use the "I'm too busy" excuse to compensate for their insecurities and fears about dating, as numerous relationship advice articles point out.

Relationship Advice Tip #1: Busyness is One of the
Biggest Causes of Relationship Issues

Up until the last few decades, most people's lives were compartmentalized: "work" was a separate segment of their lives, as was "family," "rest," "entertainment," and other activities. Back in the good old days, people didn't have relationship issues such as a spouse tapping out emails in bed or a significant other taking conference calls during vacation. Today, thanks to the internet, Palm Pilots, and other technological devices, most people are essentially on call day and night and are never "unplugged" from their careers. This 24/7 work environment is a significant barrier to people falling in love and maintaining stable relationships; nonstop working creates some of the biggest relationship issues today.

However, careers are not the only thing that create relationship issues. Many singles are heavily involved in other activities such as church, sports, socialization, hobbies, or volunteering. Many relationship advice articles encourage singles to pursue hobbies as a way of meeting people, but singles can become so involved in these activities that they have little time to date even if they do meet someone interesting.

Finally, many singles use their busy schedules as an excuse to avoid falling in love. As much as most people want to have a stable relationship, actually developing one is hard work and puts people in a vulnerable position. For many singles, it is easier and safer to devote all of their attention to their careers and activities rather than put energy towards finding a relationship. Plus, as the popular relationship advice book "He's Just Not That Into You" points out, if someone says to you "I'm too busy for a relationship right now" what they may really mean is "I don't want a relationship with you."

Relationship Advice Tip #2: Doing Less
Better Increases Your Chances of Falling in Love

One of the best pieces of relationship advice that single people can gain is this: "compartmentalize more." By this, I mean that you should aim to have separate "slots" in your day reserved for specific activities. Work, socialization, running errands, doing chores around the house... all of these activities should be separate functions. While many people pride themselves on their multitasking abilities, quite often multitasking means that we end up doing many things poorly. Instead, we should strive to emulate what a martial arts instructor, Eastern though philosopher, or a personal coach will often tell you: do one thing at a time, do it well, and put your entire focus on that one thing.

If you compartmentalize more, you'll find that many of your relationship issues will lessen or even disappear. For one, you'll find that you have more time and focus at your disposal. Rather than letting your career consume every moment of your time or your hobbies take over all of your evenings, you will have allotted specific time slots for these activities instead. For another, you'll stop letting other things creep into the time you've set aside for dating and building a relationship. Falling in love is much easier when it is just the two of you without a Blackberry or work deadline trying to make it a threesome!

Finally, compartmentalization leads to more free time, and free time often causes people to truly analyze their lives and emotions. Without the excuse of "I don't have any time to date," people are often forced to face the truth: their busyness may be a cover-up for relationship issues such as fear. This is where a personal coach often comes in handy: emotions are complex, and sometimes the help of an expert is an excellent way of untangling the conflicts that create relationship issues. Compartmentalization can free up some time for a few sessions with a counselor, personal coach, or other professional who can give you some relationship advice and help you successfully find the right person. Plus, a personal coach or dating coach can often point out other areas in your life that may be creating relationship issues.

Your Personal Coach Offers Some "Falling in Love" Advice

When it comes to our lives, we must realize that there is always something to do, always some crisis demanding our attention, always some work nagging to be done, always emails, and always phone calls to return. Yet the relationships in our lives deserve just as much attention as we lavish on our careers, hobbies, and homes. Relationship issues can drag us down emotionally much more than sagging job prospects and a weak economy, so take the time to focus on what matters most in life: people! Do one thing at a time, give that one thing your complete focus, and don't let yourself get bogged down by doing too much: do so, and your love life will take off before you know it!

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