forgive infidelity | avoid divorce | relationship help | personal coaching

How to Forgive Infidelity and Avoid Divorce

Forgive Infidelity | Avoid Divorce | Personal CoachingRelationships that occur outside the bonds of marriage are unfortunately a common occurrence. Learning to forgive infidelity is a challenging, but necessary process in order to avoid divorce and save one's marriage. After a spouse strays, many emotions such as hurt, embarrassment and resentment occur. The intense pain and feelings of betrayal that surround infidelity explain why cheating is one of the leading causes of divorce today. By learning ways to forgive infidelity, you'll be able to avoid divorce and salvage everything you've worked hard for.

How to Avoid Divorce -
Learn Why People Stray

Trying to forgive infidelity is a challenging, and often heart-wrenching process. There's a variety of reasons why a spouse will seek a romantic or intimate connection with another person. Often, there are problems within the marriage; communication has decreased and the couple is not getting along like they used to.
All it takes is a friendly, attractive coworker or overly flirtatious friend to tempt a person to stray. Once the line has been crossed, to avoid divorce, the couple will need to re-examine their commitment to the marriage. The spouse who committed adultery has lost his or her trust and will need to show repentance; the betrayed spouse must learn to forgive infidelity to save the marriage and to restore their lives as a couple.


Here is an example of how infidelity can start. John and Bonnie had been married for eight years. The first five years of their marriage were good ones. Sometime after their sixth year together, John started getting frustrated at work and would let his stress affect his relationship. Bonnie often felt neglected by John and felt unattractive and alone even while they were together. Instead of addressing this issue, she withdrew from him, making matters even worse. One day Bonnie began to notice her coworker, Alex. Alex showered Bonnie with attention and made her feel the way John used to make her feel when they first got married. One night after working late, Alex asked Bonnie out to dinner. She said yes, and eventually began a romantic relationship with him. Once she began the affair, it became increasingly more difficult to conceal it. At the end of a stressful weekend together, John and Bonnie started arguing, and the truth finally came out. John was shocked that something like this could happen after all the years they'd been together. In spite of their relationship and communication problems, he never imagined Bonnie would do something like this to betray him. Once the truth was known, John was faced with a tough decision. To avoid divorce, he needed to do some soul searching to see if there wasn't a way around this. With the help of a relationship coach, John learned to forgive infidelity and Bonnie learned to ask her husband to better meet her needs. Six months later, their marriage was back on track.

How to Forgive Infidelity

Once the unthinkable occurs, how does one learn to forgive? The most important part in the process of forgiveness is communication and being truthful. There must be total honesty between the couple so they regain the trust that was lost. It is natural to be curious about the details of the affair. In this case, one idea would be to sit down and ask questions about the affair so the partner who cheated can answer them. It's important that these questions not be accusatory. Once the questions are answered as honestly as possible, a deadline of one to three months can be set where the affair will no longer be discussed. This will help to gain closure and increase the possibility that the couple can regain trust, avoid divorce, and move forward.

When a spouse learns to forgive infidelity, a stronger relationship can be formed by bringing the issues in the marriage to the forefront so they can be adequately addressed. Many couples survive by learning to forgive infidelity; they avoid divorce and later say their marriages are stronger because of it.

Why Bother to Forgive Infidelity and Avoid Divorce?

Working to avoid divorce at all costs makes sense under many circumstances.

Some believe that divorce is the only option if a partner has cheated. Of course if one truly believes that their marriage cannot be saved - or if they're in an abusive or destructive relationship - divorce is often the best option.

But what generally occurs when a person goes through a divorce is an explosion of emotional turmoil and resentment. Often, when someone immediately gets divorced after infidelity occurs, they aren't dealing with the pain and anger of being cheated on. This will make their future relationships very difficult - and taint their romances and their meetings with new partners. In other words, there will be heavy emotional baggage carried from one relationship to the next.

Learning to forgive infidelity to avoid divorce can make your marriage even stronger. Yes, it's challenging, but it certainly can be done. A relationship coach can help you work through this difficult time, and can help you sort out all of your issues. Not only will you avoid divorce, but you may also end up with a stronger, more loving marriage.

Get Help Today and Forgive Infidelity in Your Marriage

Avoid Divorce with the Help of a Professional Life Coach

Return to Home Page

I work with clients worldwide by telephone and your initial consultation is FREE.
To request your free initial coaching call,
 click here to make an appointment.

Relationship help is just a phone call away!

Website Content © 2016 Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
All Rights Reserved

"Thank you so much for the awesome coaching session! I got so much clarity and focus about where I want to go and how to get there. I just got off the phone with my girlfriend and told her about it, and she commented immediately on the excitement in my voice! Truly amazing!"


"I am so blessed to be working with you... Thank you for showing up and shining your light in my direction! Thank you, thank you God."


"You are on FIRE -- EXQUISITE!!! This message is SO powerful, Jay, a vivid portrait of your strength and leadership. WOW. Thank you!!!! I am SO inspired. The timing could not possibly have been more perfect."


"I am in a state of awe and gratitude. I believe it is entirely possible that our conversation last night will prove to be the most pivotal turning point of my life. Above all else, thank you for your honesty."


"You SO go WAY above and beyond the line of duty."


"Jay, Thanks for really being there for me ... I really FEEL you in my corner and I am looking forward to moving into magnificent success!!"


"Jay! WOW! You really are the best! How did I get so lucky to connect with you?!"


"Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. You have such a positive, powerful energy. I am very happy to have had the opportunity to meet you. Mutual support is a rare occurrence. Thank you for that."


"Am eager to report in Wednesday... the impact of that one session has been like I smashed into a house full of dynamite -- WOW. I'm definitely up against the issues that need to be addressed... tough stuff... and brilliant work on your part, JR. Warmest regards and gratitude"


"Hi Jay! I'm still digesting -- and SO much appreciate your phenomenal multi-dimensional support. I laughed so hard today which helped more than anything. What a RANGE you have, my dear."


"Thank you for your loving support Jay... I truly appreciate you..."


"My dear Heaven-Sent Jay, Yet another WONDERFUL session. Again, I feel indescribably blessed. I LOVE the way you synopsize the essence of our meetings -- it's really, really helpful."


"Thank you infinitely for the phenomenal person you are, for your spiritual diligence, and for the unparalleled support you give me."


"I am overflowing with gratitude for your presence/presents in my life. The session with you last night was transformational. Every time we have a conversation, I emerge with even MORE awe and respect for you, for who you are, for what you have already contributed..."


"Great Session!!! Thanks"


"I hope I will get to know you in some way since I have heard such amazing things about you."


"Thank you... and I really do love how you show up in this world. Thank you for standing your ground for the best of the best experience... for all possibility and choosing the utmost. I'm so grateful for your presence in my experience... you let me know that everything is possible."


"Thanks so much. I love how resourceful you are!"


"Great call Jay, I am so impressed at the lightness and trust in this session. You really seemed comfortable with everything that came up and created a deep level of support. You are a powerful coach and ask deep questions. I also appreciate the creative way you express yourself so clearly. Great session."


"Great work today Jay. I am touched by your masterful confidence. Awesome!"


"Thanks Jay! You are so wonderful!!!"